‍Why Breakups Happen | Spotting the 13 Warning Signs

You know the old saying “knowledge is half the battle”? Well, while that’s very true, the other half of the battle is equally or even more important, because it's all about what to do with this information and how can things be improved.

In this article we'll look at:

• Warning Signs Your Relationship May Be in Trouble
• The Importance of Addressing Relationship Troubles Early On
• What You Can Do to Rekindle the Love and Connection Again
• When Your Partner Isn't Willing to Work on the Relationship

You're unhappy. Your partner is unhappy. Neither of you is exactly sure how you got to this place, but you both have you're own version of why you're unhappy.

You may have mentioned once or twice to your partner what they could do to improve the situation, then they do the same thing to you. Before you know it, you're either arguing or not talking.

Fast forward, and you're arguing less, because you both have found it's just easier to stop interacting and avoiding a blow up all together. This isn't good, but you already knew this. You may even think that you know what the problem is, but trust me when I say, there are layers involved here.

What you think you know, may not be entirely correct or even close to the full picture.

The knowledge or information gap in a troubled relationship

How do you instinctively manage when you don’t have all the information regarding your relationship? Do you make assumptions and fill in the blanks yourself?

Don't feel bad, because you're not alone. Many of us do this for a couple of reasons. The most obvious is so that we can have a more complete picture of what's going on, and maybe even find some answers.

The other less obvious reason is that it's just easier for us to fill in the blanks ourselves than to put in the work of communicating with our partner, and potentially even hearing things that hurt or make us feel uncomfortable be cause it's about us.

As you have probably surmised, creating our own story and avoiding communication is one-sided, and the way out of this will require connecting and understanding, from the both of you.

Even the best of relationships can hit a rough patch, but when these issues become a regular occurrence, it can be a sign that something deeper is going on. According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, couples who report a decrease in communication and an increase in negative interactions (such as criticism and defensiveness) are more likely to experience a decline in relationship satisfaction over time.

It's important to recognize the warning signs that your relationship may be in trouble, so you can take action before the issues escalate. Addressing relationship troubles early on, and in the right way, can help prevent further damage and promote reconnection and maybe even make things better than ever!

Your Relationship May Be in Trouble

When you and your partner have limited your interaction to small talk, no sex, and barely even any physical contact, you should be concerned. When you're both easily aggravated by the smallest of annoyances, that's your passive aggressive equivalent or screaming "We Have A Problem!".

Here's a list of all the 13 relationship warning signs:

1. Lack of Communication

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. When communication breaks down, it can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and feelings of isolation through avoidance, and is probably one of the biggest red flags that something is wrong. According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, couples who report poor communication are more likely to experience dissatisfaction and lower relationship quality.

2. Constant Criticism

If you or your partner are constantly criticizing each other, it can be a sign of underlying issues. Criticism can damage self-esteem and erode the relationship. According to a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, couples who engage in frequent criticism are more likely to experience decreased relationship satisfaction over time.

3. Lack of Trust

Trust is essential for a healthy relationship. If you or your partner are constantly doubting each other, it can lead to feelings of insecurity and stress. According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, couples who report low levels of trust are more likely to experience negative relationship outcomes such as decreased satisfaction and increased conflict.

4. Different Goals

If you and your partner have different goals for the future, it can create tension and conflict. It's important to have shared goals and aspirations to build a strong relationship. According to a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, couples who report differences in their goals are more likely to experience lower relationship quality and satisfaction.

5. Lack of Intimacy

A lack of intimacy can be a sign of emotional disconnection. Intimacy doesn't just refer to physical touch, but also emotional closeness and vulnerability. According to a survey conducted by the National Marriage Project, couples who report a lack of intimacy and affection are more likely to report low relationship quality and higher levels of stress and conflict.

6. Dishonesty

If you or your partner are dishonest or keep secrets, it can lead to a breakdown in trust and communication.

7. Disrespect

‍If you or your partner are disrespectful towards each other, it can create a toxic environment that's not conducive to a healthy relationship.

8. Lack of Support

In a healthy relationship, partners support each other's goals and aspirations. If you or your partner are not supportive of each other, it can lead to feelings of resentment and isolation.

9. Constant Fighting

It's normal for couples to argue and disagree from time to time, but if fighting becomes a regular occurrence, it can be a sign of deeper issues and can create a negative atmosphere that can be difficult to escape.

10. Avoidance

If you or your partner are avoiding spending time together or are avoiding certain topics, it could be a sign of unresolved issues. This could also lead to isolation from friends and family in an attempt to avoid social situations, caused by the stress and tension in your relationship.

11. Controlling Behaviors

If one partner is constantly trying to control the other's behavior, it can create a power dynamic that's unhealthy and damaging to the relationship.

12. Unequal Effort

In a healthy relationship, both partners put in effort to maintain the relationship. If one partner is doing all the work, it can lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction.

13. Lack of Fun

A healthy relationship involves shared experiences and having fun together. If your relationship is lacking in this area, it could be a sign of deeper issues.

Ok, so you've probably said, "yes, yes, uh huh..." to at least a few of these. Maybe you're thinking you have plenty of time to start working on things. Maybe you do. Maybe not. The safest course of action would be to start now. The longer you wait the more difficult the road out could be.

The Importance of Addressing Relationship Troubles Early On

Like we mentioned. ignoring relationship troubles can have negative consequences for both partners and the relationship as a whole. If you still needed a little convincing that there's no time like the present to close the gap on communication and getting to the root of the issue.

Here're some reasons why it's important to address relationship troubles early on:

1. A survey conducted by the National Marriage Project found that couples who reported a lack of intimacy and affection were more likely to report low relationship quality and higher levels of stress and conflict.

2. According to a study published in the Journal of Sex Research, a lack of sexual intimacy is one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy.

3. A survey conducted by the American Psychological Association found that couples who reported high levels of conflict were more likely to experience physical health problems such as headaches, gastrointestinal issues, and insomnia.

4. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, couples who reported feeling emotionally disconnected from each other were more likely to experience a decline in relationship satisfaction over time.

5. Damage to the Relationship: Ignoring relationship troubles can lead to further damage to the relationship, such as increased conflict and decreased satisfaction. According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, couples who experience high levels of conflict are more likely to experience a decline in relationship quality over time.

6. Difficulty in Resolving Issues: The longer issues in a relationship are ignored, the harder it can be to resolve them. Communication can become more difficult, and negative patterns can become more ingrained.

All this is great, but what you really want to know is what you can do "Now", to make things better? There’s no guarantee that your relationship will be all roses after this, but you can at least take some comfort in the fact that you put in the work to improve things with your partner. After all, you both want to get out of the current undesirable situation you're in, either together or apart.

What You Can Do to Rekindle the Love and Connection Again

You've recognized warning signs and you've committed to putting in the work. What are some tip or exercises that you can use to begin either reconnecting, or at the very least, opening he conversation on what's not working any longer and getting an accurate pulse on the health of your relationship?

Here are a few ideas to get you started reconnecting with your partner:

1. Practice active listening: Active listening involves fully focusing on what your partner is saying, without interrupting or judging. It can help improve communication and understanding between partners. When your partner is speaking, make eye contact, nod in agreement, and ask questions to clarify what they're saying.

2. Use "I" statements: Instead of using accusatory "you" statements, use "I" statements to express your feelings and needs. For example, say "I feel hurt when you don't listen to me" instead of "You never listen to me".

3. Plan a date night: Scheduling a regular date night can help rekindle intimacy and affection between partners. It can be as simple as cooking dinner together or going for a walk.

4. Express gratitude: Expressing gratitude for your partner's positive qualities and actions can help create a positive atmosphere and promote reconnection. Take time to thank your partner for the things they do for you and the relationship.

5. Take a break: Sometimes, taking a break from each other can be helpful to de-escalate conflicts and gain perspective. Take a day or two apart to reflect on the relationship and work on personal growth.

6. Seek professional help: If the relationship troubles are severe or longstanding, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial. A therapist can provide guidance and support in navigating the issues in the relationship.

It's important to communicate openly with your partner and find the techniques and exercises that work best for your relationship.

‍These exercises and techniques can help promote reconnection and growth in your relationship. Remember, every relationship is unique, and it's important to find the techniques and exercises that work best for your relationship.

When Your Partner Isn't Willing to Work on the Relationship

You feel like you’re trying to do your part, but your partner isn't willing to work on the relationship. What do you do?

If you've recognized warning signs that your relationship may be in trouble, but your partner isn't willing to work on the relationship, it can be a difficult and frustrating situation, don't despair. You knew this was goin to take some time and work. Rebuilding a broken connection or trust, could also mean taking a few lumps.

When you're ready to say "enough is enough" with your relationship, consider these options:

1. Communicate your needs and feelings: Let your partner know how their lack of effort is impacting you and the relationship. Be honest and clear about what you need and want from the relationship.

2. Seek outside support: Talk to a therapist or a trusted friend or family member for support and guidance. A professional can help you navigate the situation and provide tools for coping and communication.

3. Consider a break: Sometimes, taking a break from the relationship can give both partners time to reflect and gain perspective. It can also help set boundaries and establish what each partner wants and needs from the relationship.

4. Evaluate the relationship: Take a step back and evaluate the relationship objectively. Consider if the relationship is meeting your needs and if your partner is willing to put in effort to improve the relationship.

5. Set boundaries: If your partner is unwilling to work on the relationship, it may be necessary to set boundaries to protect your own emotional well-being. This may include limiting contact or taking a break from the relationship altogether.

‍Remember, you cannot force your partner to work on the relationship if they are unwilling. It's important to prioritize your own needs and emotional health in the situation. Seeking outside support and setting boundaries can help you navigate the situation and make informed decisions about the future of the relationship.

Conclusion

Maintaining a healthy relationship takes work, but recognizing warning signs early on and taking action can help prevent further damage and promote reconnection and growth. Addressing relationship troubles may not always be easy, but it's essential for the emotional well-being of both partners and the relationship as a whole.

By practicing active listening, using "I" statements, planning date nights, expressing gratitude, taking breaks, and seeking professional help, couples can work together to rekindle the love and connection in their relationship.

However, in cases where one partner is unwilling to work on the relationship, it's important to prioritize emotional health and seek support from a therapist or trusted friend or family member.

Remember, every relationship is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to relationship troubles. It's important to communicate openly with your partner, prioritize emotional health, and seek support if needed.

By taking proactive steps to address relationship troubles, couples can work towards a stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationship.

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_{Disclosure: This article was not written by a medical professional, unless specifically stated otherwise. Advice or support content is not intended to be either professional medical or mental health advice or recommendations. All support and advice is from direct and/or anecdotal contributor/author experiences and topic research. If you are experiencing a physical or mental health emergency or mental or physical abuse, please seek professional support. Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to us, at no cost to you when you decide to purchase a reviewed product.}

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