Compatibility Test | 15 Questions When You Start Dating Someone New

You want to make sure the new guy or girl you’ve gone on a first date with is a good match for you and worth a second, third, or more dates!

This isn’t just good for you, it’s good for both of you, and at the very least it’ll spark some conversation that’s possibly a level deeper than regular first or second date convo and still able to be had at a time when it’s considered expected “get to know you” stuff.

Make sure the intent of the questioning and conversation is clear, “There’s no pressure and this test will not be graded, we’ll not really…”.

It’s intended to break the ice and get you both talking about things that will matter if you decide to make a go of it.

Taking a relationship compatibility test can be a helpful tool for you and your prospective person to explore any shared dynamic and understand each other better. 

15 Questions to Test Relationship Compatibility

Below is our 15-question test that covers various aspects of relationship compatibility, including mutual goals, time together and apart, interests, problem-solving, communication, and relationship balance.

Ready, set, talk!

Mutual Goals

1. You and your partner are discussing your five-year plan over dinner. Your partner mentions wanting to move to a different city for career opportunities.

A) You both excitedly discuss how this aligns with your mutual goals and start planning the move.

B) You express interest but mention needing to think about how it fits with your current plans.

C) You feel uneasy because your goals involve staying in your current city.

2. While on a weekend getaway, you and your partner start talking about the future and where you see yourselves in ten years.

A) You both contribute ideas and find that your visions align well.

B) You share some thoughts but realize you haven’t discussed this much before.

C) You struggle to find common ground as your visions differ significantly.

Time Together and Apart

1. Your partner suggests spending the entire weekend together, but you had planned to catch up on personal hobbies.

A) You agree that spending time together sounds great, as you feel balanced in your personal time.

B) You agree but feel a bit disappointed about missing out on personal time.

C) You express the need to spend some time apart to focus on your hobbies.

2. Your partner plans a solo trip with friends for a week, leaving you at home.

A) You encourage them and plan some activities for yourself during their absence.

B) You feel anxious but try to be supportive of their plans.

C) You feel relieved to have some time alone and encourage them to enjoy the trip.

Interests

1. Your partner invites you to join them for an activity you’ve never tried before, like rock climbing or attending a jazz concert.

A) You enthusiastically agree, eager to share in their interests.

B) You agree to go but are unsure if you’ll enjoy it.

C) You decline, preferring activities that align with your own interests.

2. Your partner expresses interest in learning a new skill or hobby together, like cooking or dancing.

A) You’re excited and start looking for classes or resources together.

B) You’re open to trying it out occasionally but not fully committed.

C) You’re uninterested and prefer they pursue it on their own.

Problem Solving

1. After a disagreement about household responsibilities, you both sit down to discuss a solution.

A) You both share perspectives calmly and come up with a fair plan together.

B) The discussion is tense, but eventually, you reach an agreement after some back-and-forth.

C) The conversation stalls, and the issue remains unresolved.

2. An unexpected expense arises, and you need to decide how to handle it financially.

A) You both review your budget together and decide on the best approach as a team.

B) Each of you suggests different solutions, leading to some debate before deciding.

C) One of you takes charge of the decision without much input from the other.

Communication

1. After a long day, you both sit down to talk about how things are going in your lives and relationship.

A) The conversation flows naturally, with both of you feeling heard and understood.

B) The conversation is mostly positive, though there are occasional misunderstandings.

C) It’s difficult to communicate effectively, leading to frustration or silence.

2. Something has been bothering you lately, and you decide it’s time to talk about it with your partner.

A) You openly express your feelings, knowing they will listen and support you.

B) You share some of what’s bothering you but hold back on certain details.

C) You struggle to bring it up or express yourself clearly.

Relationship Give and Take

1. Your partner needs help with a project they’re working on, requiring more of your time than usual this week.

A) You gladly offer assistance because they often do the same for you when needed.

B) You help out but feel like you’re giving more than receiving lately.

C) You feel overwhelmed by their request because it seems like you’re always giving more.

2. You’re deciding on where to go for vacation this year; both of you have different preferences for destinations.

A) You discuss each option openly and decide on a compromise that satisfies both of you.

B) After some debate, one of you concedes more than the other this time around.

C) It’s challenging to find a middle ground, leading one person’s choice dominating.

Overall Compatibility

1. Reflecting on your relationship during an anniversary dinner, you consider how content you’ve been overall.

A) Almost always happy; being together brings joy and fulfillment consistently.

B) Generally satisfied but aware there are areas needing improvement occasionally causing issues

C) Rarely content; frequent dissatisfaction leaves room for doubt about compatibility

2. Your partner tells you they’ll be late coming home due to work commitments unexpectedly cropping up last minute tonight

A) You trust their explanation completely without second thoughts or doubts

B) You mostly believe them though sometimes wonder if there might be other reasons involved

C) Trust issues arise making skepticism prevalent regarding their true whereabouts

3. During an intimate conversation about values ,you realize how much depth exists within each other’s beliefs

A) You know each other’s values deeply having had numerous meaningful discussions

B) Somewhat aware through occasional talks though not extensively explored

C) Unfamiliar territory rarely ventured into leaving gaps unfilled

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These scenarios aim at providing realistic contexts allowing individuals/couples better understand dynamics within relationships while encouraging reflection upon important aspects contributing towards compatibility.

Interpreting the results of your relationship compatibility test involves understanding how the responses to each scenario reflect the dynamics between you both. Assuming you guys had a fun and informative back and forth, here’s a guide on how you can interpret the results using a points system:

Scoring System

Assign Points:

•For each “A” answer, assign 3 points.

•For each “B” answer, assign 2 points.

•For each “C” answer, assign 1 point.

‍Total Possible Score: 45 points (15 questions x 3 points)

Interpretation of Results

High Compatibility (36-45 Points)

Yay! Your responses indicate you’re both in a nice alignment, on goals, effective communication, and agree on a healthy balance of how time together and apart should be spent.

You likely share common interests and would handle conflicts collaboratively, potentially suggesting a well-rounded and supportive relationship. Well what do you know!

Suggestions:

If you continue dating, nurture your budding relationship by keeping that communication open and making sure to regularly check in on each other's happiness. Being heard, seen, loved, and cared for should always be a part of a great relationship.

Celebrate your connection and keep exploring new activities together to strengthen your new relationship.

Moderate Compatibility (26-35 Points)

You guys have a solid foundation, but there’s probably a few areas that require some attention or improvement if you want to up the compatibility.

While you guys generally handle problems similarly, you might occasionally have communication gaps or differences in long-term goals that need addressing.

Suggestions:

Talk about specific areas where you scored lower and see if this is something that can be worked on and if it’s worth it to you both to improve.

Remember that if you continue your dating journey to set aside time for regular check-ins to ensure you both feel heard and valued.

Low Compatibility (15-25 Points)

The results suggest you may have a significant challenge in key areas such as communication, mutual goals, or balance in the relationship.

You may have frequent misunderstandings or unresolved conflicts that impact your overall satisfaction.

Suggestions:

This pairing may require some significant work from both of you if there’s a chance for things to work out long-term.

General Tips for Interpretation

1- Use as a Starting Point: This test is meant to facilitate reflection and conversation. Use it as a tool to identify strengths and areas for growth in your relationship.

2- Communicate Openly: Share your results with your person and discuss any differences in responses. Understanding each other’s perspectives can lead to more meaningful discussions.

3- Focus on Growth: Regardless of the score, every new relationship has room for growth. Use insights from the test to set goals for improving your relationship dynamics.

Remember, no test can fully capture the complexity of a relationship or everyone’s personality matchups. Use this as an opportunity to talk about what’s important to you and see if you both gel on core needs and values!

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_{Disclosure: This article was not written by a medical professional, unless specifically stated otherwise. Advice or support content is not intended to be either professional medical or mental health advice or recommendations. All support and advice is from direct and/or anecdotal contributor/author experiences and topic research. If you are experiencing a physical or mental health emergency or mental or physical abuse, please seek professional support. Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to us, at no cost to you when you decide to purchase a reviewed product.}

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