How Long Does it Take to Get Over a Breakup | The Real Answer

Everyone would like a specific answer or a definitive amount of time to this often asked question. People look for some sort of calculation like taking the amount of time of the relationship and dividing it by 2 to get your recovery time.

If only it was this easy.

This Is Really How Long it Takes to Get Over a Breakup

The real answer to how long it takes to get over a breakup is 3 months, 6 months, or 12 months. Of course there are extremes on either side, but generally speaking, these are the likely timeframes.

So why not just one amount of time? Why should it take me 12 months to get over a breakup, when it could be over in just 3 months?

Great question. The answer is simple, some people put in the work, while others prolong the pain. Not by choice of course, but there is a level of control most people should be able to exercise. 

One additional important factor involved here is the level of connection in the relationship. This is where your attachment style may make the time frame for your getting over someone longer or shorter. 

This attachment to your ex, either because of your individual attachment style, your social/domestic entanglements, or some combination of the two.

3 Months

A 3 month recovery may mean a lower level of attachment to your significant ex. The Avoidant Attachment style can sometimes make it easier to detach after a breakup given the nature of this style. A faster recovery can also be attributed to less of a connection due to a very short relationship. Regardless of the length of the relationship though, sometimes the longer you’re in a relationship your level of attachment or connection could begin to wane if not nurtured.

12 Months

A 12 month recovery, or longer, may be indicative of someone that has a high level of attachment and who makes a large number of incorrect or pain prolonging decisions post breakup. You may have a more difficult time letting go if you fall into the Anxious Attachment style category.

6 Months

A 6 month recovery, or less, should be achievable, even for those with a strong attachment, whether from type or social/domestic entanglements, if you understand relationship dynamics and follow through on what is required to “detach”, heal, and end the pain.

The Grieving Process

The grieving process or stages of grief involve the following recovery phases: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, Rebuilding, and Forgiveness.

Understanding this process and how to not get caught in some of the recovery traps will definitely help you get over your breakup faster. 

Simple things like checking and exes social media or avoiding negative self talk will help you move forward and move on after a difficult heartbreak. Even more helpful can be building yourself up and working on your self esteem and confidence, which inevitably may take a hit after a breakup.

This is a support topic that’s very important to us so we go deeper into breakup recovery with these targeted articles:

Healing Breakups Quickly | The 7 Stages of a Breakup and How To  Get Over Someone

Stop Breakup Pain | How to Get Over Someone Faster and for Good!

Relationship Attachment Styles |  Which One Works Best For You?

How To Get Over Someone | Feel Better and Make Your Ex Regret Leaving

After a Breakup | Get Back Through Success

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