Getting a Boyfriend Can Be Much Easier with this Honest Advice and these Expert Tips

Sure dating can be exhausting. Maybe you've been trying for a while to find a boyfriend and it's been either no luck landing a date or you just can’t find anyone who's worth a second date.

Don't despair, we’re here to help you get back on track and share our tips on how to get a boyfriend.

We’ve given this a lot of thought and heard from many women and men on what works and what doesn’t, so we can give you the best advice possible!

Real Example Demonstrating "How to Get a Boyfriend"

Before we move on, I want to tell you about a young woman I saw just yesterday applying these same techniques and truly owning her confidence and just putting herself out there. I was in a collectibles store with two of my kids.

The guy working the register was in his early to mid 20's. We were just across from the checkout area, so we were able to see and hear everything, when this very confident woman, about the same age as the clerk, came into the store and walked right up to the counter.

She didn't start pretending to browse around the store, hoping to make eye contact or get the guys to notice her. She didn't wait on him at all. Instead, she walked right up to the counter, skipped the small talk, and told him she'd been in the store a few times, she got the feeling he's a nice guy, and thought he'd be cool to hang out with! Then she asked him if he'd like to hang out some time soon and if they could exchange numbers!

I was pretty impressed with how quickly she closed the deal. The guy was very nice and very receptive. He said he'd absolutely hang out and they kept talking and getting to know each other more. My son did want to buy something, but neither of us wanted to mess with the chemistry, so... we found someone else to check us out. We passed back by the store a short while later and we saw the two of them outside still talking and laughing!

I mentioned to my sons that, whether things actually work out or not between them, I gave the woman full marks for the self-confidence she demonstrated and proactively going after what she wanted. I could tell she was a little nervous, but she obviously had a strength that gave her the courage to go for what she wanted and risk possible rejection. Even if he did reject her and things didn't go well, I expect that it wouldn't have gotten her too down. She would've bounced back knowing that she put herself out there and she only would have failed by being too afraid to try in the first place.

She was confident, clear and to the point but not overwhelming, very friendly, she made the guy comfortable and allowed him to be open, she complimented him and made him feel good, she knew they had some things in common and layered that in, and finally, she used great flirting skills and body language to catch and hold the guy's attention.

Let's look in more detail at what it was that impressed me, caught the attention of the guy she was interested in, and what you can do to get a boyfriend of your own too.

Related Article: Intentional Dating | How To Find Your Perfect Match

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‍Prioritize Compatibility

She already knew they had some hobbies and interests in common and she had also seen him enough times to get a feel for his personality. There may have been more compatibility check boxes that she knew internally were already met, but it's super important to never compromise on this compatibility step.

If we can agree that finding the right guy can take a bit of time, work, and effort, then we can also agree that you shouldn't waste your time or effort on someone that doesn't get you excited just thinking about him. You want to have no reservations and feel zero regret!

This means, know what you want, before you even get started. Not just, "You know you want a boyfriend!”.

What kind of person is he? How does he treat you? What’s his personality like?

Try to picture who he is on a high level. The things that are core to him. This would be the match what you’re looking for, and is you setting your Standard for guys you let into your life.

You can certainly look back at a previous relationship to know what you “don’t want” in a boyfriend or relationship moving forward, and also the parts that “did work” that you want to keep.

This may sound like a lot, but the whole process is really more intuitive than anything else - everything either feels good and right or it doesn't. You know when somethings missing.

General and Core needs are easier to identify earlier in the dating process. Things like: sense of humor, wit, intelligence, kindness, responsiveness, motivation, and financial compatibility. 

When you look at the definition of compatibility it talks about "like mindedness and the ability to exist without problems or conflict" and If you’ve been in at least one relationship you’d probably agree this is not likely or realistic.

What is realistic, is to have a relationship where:

• Your core values are in alignment
• You both contribute to the relationship by keeping things interesting
• You open each other up to new experiences. All in a positive way!

Like mindedness is not just what you like or don’t like, but more about how you conduct yourself or deal with problems and challenges.

This would be tough to filter for before meeting someone for the first time, but there are questions or tests for compatibility to get a sense of how your prospective boyfriend matches up with you and how to deal with life's twists and turns...?

Check Out This One: Compatibility Test | 15 Questions When You Start Dating Someone New

Think about trying some Compatibility Test Questions that focus on: Goals, time together and apart, interests, problem solving, communication, and relationship give and take to test the waters and get some deeper insight into personality and compatibility for both of you.

Never forget "it takes two to make a thing go right", thank you Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock!

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Avoid turning a date into an interview

Full disclosure, some people, myself included, aren’t big fans of skipping the “get to know you” phase of dating which is when, traditionally, you get the info to make a thumbs up or down.

It’s a new day though, with new tools, apps, quizzes, and test for everything! And, since many people don’t have an abundance of time to spend vetting potential boyfriend material, use what's available to you to make the experience faster and more effective.

Knowing what you want, to some extent, and then figuring out where those guys are? This also includes knowing what your standards are in a relationship and boyfriend, but this is step 2 or step after you can apply your basic standards pretty quickly.

Relationship goals - Intentional dating includes being clear about your goals, communicating them to prospective dates/matches, and making sure your actions align with theirs (and identifying quickly when your date’s actions don’t match up with your wants and goals). This dovetails into expectations and standards.

The “Intentional Dating” article also includes [Dating Advice for Women] as well - Date selection, managing rejection and failure, [Dating Tips], [Online Dating], [Social Events - look at journal for info on this as well], [Self-Improvement]

Breakup Must Read: Stop Breakup Pain | How to Get Over Someone Faster and for Good!

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Build Confidence

What does it mean to be confident and what did our confident friend do right? How can you get this same confidence?

Maybe “build” is the wrong word to use here. Many of us already have confidence and know what it means to be confident, we just may not have an occasion to use it very often, especially in the context of connecting with a potential new boyfriend.

Your opportunity is to “exercise” your confidence and get more comfortable with using it yourself.

The biggest kryptonite to confidence is when you worry about the “perception” others have of you.

The more quickly you stop caring about what others may think about you being you, the faster it frees you up to be the most natural and engaging you.

Remember: Whatever thoughts “you” think “they” are having about you is probably not anywhere close to reality. They are very likely having their own internal nerves and wondering what you may be thinking about them!

So let’s look at how you can exercise your confidence:

• Tackling inherent fears - Have a no fear attitude. What’s the worst that can happen - they don’t want to date you. Thanks and move on to the next.
• How to not worry about embarrassment  - Staying calm, owning it, and leaning into comfort and humor is the way to go.
• The date is not going well? Maximize the opportunity by understanding there’s nothing to lose and no one to impress any longer. See if there’s a way to at least have some fun and practice your conversation and confidence game!

Be confident - think about ICE, "Independent, Confident, and Esteem. It's attractive and also give a woman a certain internal power knowing that no matter what happens I'll be ok.

Helpful Read! Self-Care Confidence Boost | Level Up Your Attractiveness

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Put Yourself Out There - Where to meet guys!

This means making an effort to engage whether that's IRL or online and when that happens, being engaging and trying to connect.

Shop girl had no idea how Collectibles Guy would respond and even though she may have been a little nervous, she still made the first move and got the conversation started. She met a guy she was interested in in a place she liked to go and doing something she like to do.

Don't be shy - Start the conversation. You can't always wait for the guy to make the first move or come to you. Improve your odds by going out and getting what you want.

The goal here is to have some actual interaction! Whether you start online and through text or take up activities that will allow you to meet guys that meet your compatibility and intentional dating requirements.

Here are some ways to get started and things to try!

Online Dating Benefits

Use dating sites? Of course, why limit yourself! There is no doubt online dating will expand your dating pool far beyond what you could achieve by just trying to meet or bump into people IRL.

Being Intentional

Online dating makes it easy to tell people exactly: who you are, what you want, and let's people that want the same thing find you quickly and easily! When you match you already know there's a mutual something drawing you together.

Quicker Connections

Dating apps promote conversation and more meaningful connection with matches. The sheer quantity of people you and potential matches have access to, could create addition challenges, but it also promotes making an effort to get to know someone through deeper, earlier revelation.

Check this out! 25 Hinge Prompt "Dating Me is Like..." Examples for the Perfect Connection | How to Nail Your Answer!

And this! Tinder for Beginners | The 5 Steps for Successful Online Dating

One more! 6 Tips for Becoming a Tinder Top Pick

Local Tour Groups

Most cities have some sort of local history, food, or bar hoping tours. This is a great way to make some connections by finding a common interest. Try doing things and going places where it's almost expected that people will strike up conversation and interact with people they meet for the first time. Breweries and wineries are a perfect example of this.

Events

Things like parties, happy hours, performances, and volunteering are all excellent ways a single woman could participate in a social setting that is typically geared to solo or single interactions and meetings.

Classes

Come on... You know you can't go wrong with some classes, especially if you're really into whatever it is you'd be learning. It's a win win! Not to mention, the odds that a single guy may be trying to get out there just like you, are pretty good. Raise your hand if you're a single so we can partner you up!

Related Article: Dating is Exhausting | These 6 Things Are The Reason

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Take Initiative

She clearly did this.

Next we'll focus on why old school moves like trying to look pretty and just waiting for him to make the first move don’t work these days and why being proactive, confident, and brave will give you so many more options for dating and making connections! Not to mention, developing these skills will just flat out help you in life in general.

Guys always want or are attracted to what they don't have, but once a guy gets you, it's important that he realizes his next 'challenge' is "keeping you". Why this becomes a challenge is because he knows others want the same thing he has and now and also, now that he has you (what does this mean?) that he realizes he feels better with you than without you, that being with you makes him feel good, fulfilled, loved, energized, and wanting to make you feel the same way too by being with him (this is how he keeps you) and what makes for a healthy / balanced relationship.

Now that you have his attention…

Master the Art of Flirting

She looked very cute and was giving him all her attention. He felt like the most important person in the store and to her it was almost like they were the only ones there. The compliments and attention are enough to disarm anyone and psychologically he was motivated to keep up her perception of him and not let her down.

This one is key, and honestly one of the easiest of the steps to getting a boyfriend.

Once you know what it is that gets and keeps a guy’s interest, it’s just a matter of putting it into action. 

To really understand how to get a boyfriend, it helps to understand how boys think and how to avoid common mistakes that could get in the way of your success.

Let’s see what attracts a man and then link it to some easy flirting techniques. Embrace the art of flirting!

Flirting Do's and Don'ts

Do Compliment - This is the easiest way to bring down walls and psychologically endear someone to you immediately!

Do Tease - Playfully! Make sure it's innocent and not insulting. Teasing done correctly brings back those innate feelings of attraction and interest from back in those playground days.

Do Make Eye Contact - This demonstrates interest, creates a connection, and shows that you are confident, which remember, is an attractive quality to men. So don't avert or shy away!

Do Listen - When you actively listen you are able to pick up on complimentary or mutually shared experiences in that moment. When you're able to connect mutual interests and enhance a conversation, you're showing him your wit and personality and connecting with him.

Do Touch - We all know that small, light touches are a sign someone is interested in us, so if you are indeed interested, don't hide it and make some physical connection sparks happen.

Don't Complain - Maybe you're used to some of this when talking with friends, we all enjoy some commiseration when it comes to dating woes. But, when you're on an actual date you really want to avoid this. Especially if it's about an ex. Your date is listening to everything and he's imagining the whole time you're talking what it would be like if you were together..? Complaining paints a negative picture. Help him picture something that he desires instead.

Don't Pressure - Avoid pressuring or coming off too needy when dating. This is a bit of a turn-off and shows a lack of confidence which is an unattractive quality.

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Be Authentic

By the way Shop Girl was flowing and talking, you could tell she wasn’t forcing anything. She was genuinely interested in Clerk Guy and it came through very clearly.

Be Yourself

Maintain your individuality while being open to trying new things that are important to a new boyfriend. There needs to be a healthy balance when it comes to doing things and it's up to you to show him the things that are important and enjoyable to you! Try to incorporate the guys you're interested in into the things you like to do. This way life doesn't go on hold and you also show him you're an individual that will enrich his life if he's lucky enough to be with you.

Don't Compromise on Living

Try not to make your life all about finding a boyfriend or doing everything you can to achieve just this one objective. Rather, live a life that "invites" the opportunity to build a romantic relationship and grow the number of new people that come into your life.

Don't expect to get a man or try to force it, kind of the idea of "things will happen when you least expect it" or "when you're not trying".

Related Article: Denied | 8 Reasons Your Partner Won't Connect on Social Media

Conclusion

Finding a boyfriend doesn't have to be a long journey. When you understand your self-worth and know what you want in a boyfriend and life, it can't help but shine through to guys you meet. Make sure to share all you have to offer with guys that could be a great fit for you. Expanding your social network, knowing what you want and deserve, and making sure you wow him when the chances rise, will help you find help you say bye to single in no time at all.

Remember that there are guys out there too that want to find someone just a bad as you do! The real help is speeding up the process while maintaining all of the things you want in a guy and a relationship. Compatibility baby!

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_{Disclosure: This article was not written by a medical professional, unless specifically stated otherwise. Advice or support content is not intended to be either professional medical or mental health advice or recommendations. All support and advice is from direct and/or anecdotal contributor/author experiences and topic research. If you are experiencing a physical or mental health emergency or mental or physical abuse, please seek professional support. Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to us, at no cost to you when you decide to purchase a reviewed product.}

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