Swiping On an Ex | 6 Things To Ask Before You Swipe Right
Check out the 6 things you should really consider before swiping right on your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.
Right or Left? How Should You Swipe on an Ex?
You and your ex have recently broken up and are both back on the market. You do what most everybody else does and get back on one of the most popular dating apps to see what kind of fish are currently in the sea.
Along your swiping journey you pause when the next profile pic fills your phone's screen. Your ex is smiling right back at you. You were the one that actually took that picture. As you look through the posted pictures you even remember being in some of them and can see that you've now been cropped out.
I've been there before and in my case the breakup was very amicable. I did swipe right on my ex and she did the same thing, not to try to get back together, but more for a mutual chuckle and to say, "hey, good luck out there and hope you find someone amazing". Now that was me and that was also the relationship we had specifically. I've been in other relationships where I might not have been so chill and would have gone through many more thoughts and emotions if the situation repeated.
The point is, whether you should swipe right on your ex really depends on where you're at emotionally, how things ended, and how you think swiping might effect the two of you and whatever you have left.
Here are 6 things to think about before you decide to swipe right:
1. Why did you break up?
Was it due to irreconcilable differences, abusive behavior, or something that has since changed? If the reasons for your break-up are likely to cause issues again, it might not be a good idea to get back together or even to interact on such a personal level like the dating process.
2. Have you both grown since the break-up?
People can change over time. If you both have grown and matured since the break-up, there might be a chance for a healthier relationship now. If you're considering swiping right because you want to get back together, you really need to know that there is a possibility that the feeling is mutual.
3. Are you both single?
This might seem obvious, but it's an important point to consider. If either of you are currently in a relationship, it's best to avoid swiping right. However, if your ex is still on a dating site while with someone, it's safe to assume it's not super serious or they want to keep their options open.
4. Are you over each other?
Sometimes, people consider reconnecting with an ex because they're still not over them, rather than because it's actually a good idea. Make sure you're not just trying to rekindle the relationship due to residual feelings or loneliness. Another way of saying this is, do it for the right reasons. Sure dating can be a pain when you spend time, money, and effort and there's no connection or chemistry, but don't get back into a bad situation or prolong your healing just because you didn't hit the lottery on your first couple tries dating again.
5. What are your expectations?
Are you expecting to jump right back into a relationship, or are you open to starting off as friends and seeing where things go? Being clear about your expectations can help avoid misunderstandings or disappointment down the line. Tis is a super tricky thing you're doing here if you do decide to test the relationship again. Honestly, if you both got to the point where you are back online dating and putting yourselves out there, it safe to assume at least one of you really wants to find something else. Tis is just the reality. If you both just wanted a little space and there was an expectation from the two of you that you would be getting back together, it's highly unlikely that either of you would start online dating for fear of messing with the opportunity to reconcile.
6. Are you ready to face potential consequences?
Reconnecting with an ex might bring back old feelings or drama. Are you ready to handle that? You may think you're ready, but be prepared that thing may not unfold quite like you would want them to. It's likely that the only way this works out for you is if you are able to handle some disappointment gracefully and understand that you now need to work to be the best dating option for your ex-partner. How will you feel and react the first time they're unavailable to you because they have something planned with someone else?
Conclusion
Like we said, there's a ton of factors involved here and everyone's situation could be a bit different. We wouldn't worry as much about your ex since having someone swipe right on your profile is typically a good feeling. Everyone likes to feel validated and wanted! But, how they react or respond, and how you think you can handle the potential worst case scenario should be considered before you do anything, especially if you still have strong feelings in play.
Happy swiping!
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Disclosure: This article was not written by a medical professional, unless specifically stated otherwise. Advice or support content is not intended to be either professional medical or mental health advice or recommendations. All support and advice is from direct and/or anecdotal contributor/author experiences and topic research. If you are experiencing a physical or mental health emergency or mental or physical abuse, please seek professional support. Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to us, at no cost to you when you decide to purchase a reviewed product.
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