Infatuation vs Love: Understanding the Difference and Finding that Special Someone

_{Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to us, at no cost to you when you decide to purchase a reviewed product.}

Topics Summary:

• Difference between Infatuation and Love
• Chemistry of Attraction
• Finding and keeping that special someone

Pin It Here!

You meet someone at a party and, right off the bat, you are struck by his amazing smile or her hair and the way she has the attention of everyone around. As the night goes on, they keep bumping into you and you both find yourself laughing each time.

Eventually, you find yourself looking for them hoping to have another accidental "bump into one another" moment. As the night goes on they're no where to be found and you already feel a longing to see them again and ask around your mutual friends to figure out how to get in touch and when you might be able to see them again?

Is this love or infatuation?

It's easy to talk with your bestie after the party and say, "I'm in love!"

But, is it really love, or is it simply infatuation? Afterall, it's only been one night and you don't even know how to reach them. In fact, you really don't know anything about them except that they make your heart race and you can't stop thinking about the next time you get to see him or her.

Let's see if it's really love or if it's just infatuation.

What is Love?

When it come to love, you need to imagine some thing that is deep, mutual, and enduring.

It goes beyond simple or initial attraction and and it also does not rely on fantasy or the "What could be?". This is because love happens over time. Time to create a secure and emotional bond.

When you love someone, you are willing and able to give yourself freely, feel safe, and experience a genuine connection. Love allows you to appreciate someone for who they truly are—not just for how they make you feel in the moment.

The dictionary definition says it's a: Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties; attraction based on sexual desire, affection, and tenderness felt by lovers.

The key take-a-way being kinship and the ties. You are entwined and dependent, securely, on each other.

With true love, you get as much as you give. You don’t just think about how someone makes you feel—you value them for their experiences, personality, and the memories you create together. Love is also about giving selflessly, knowing that your partner appreciates and values your effort.

What is Infatuation?

Now, infatuation definitely feels really good. It's exciting, it's intense, but it can also be short-lived. Especially when it’s one-sided and fueled by fantasy rather than reality. It needs the fuel of experience, sharing, and mutual effort to become something more. To become true love.

If you haven’t shared real experiences with someone, but constantly daydream about what could be, you may be infatuated rather than in love.

The dictionary definition says it's: An intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something.

Infatuation burns bright but fades quickly. It often comes with nervousness because deep down, you’re uncertain whether your feelings will be reciprocated. Without a strong emotional foundation, infatuation lacks the depth to sustain a lasting relationship.

Love vs. Infatuation: Fantasy vs. Reality

Infatuation thrives on idealized versions of people. Love, on the other hand, is built on reality—accepting someone’s flaws and still choosing them.

• Infatuation example: Emma met Jake at a party and immediately felt he was “the one.” She obsessed over his texts and imagined their perfect future. But once they started dating, she realized she barely knew him, and the spark faded.
• Love example: Sarah and Chris were friends for years. Their bond grew through shared experiences, understanding each other’s quirks, and supporting one another through challenges. Their love stood the test of time.

The Science of Love and Infatuation: Biology at Play

Dopamine vs. Oxytocin: The Chemistry Behind Your Feelings

There are definitely brain chemical and receptor reasons why we fall so hard for someone or why we hurt so bad when a relationship ends. We highlight the main chemicals here, but we really go deep on this topic about the chemistry of attraction in our article dedicated to Stopping Breakup Pain | How to Get Over Someone Faster and for Good!

• Infatuation: Fueled by dopamine, the "pleasure chemical," which creates an addictive rush—similar to gambling or eating chocolate.
• Love: Linked to oxytocin, the "bonding hormone," which fosters deep connection, trust, and emotional security.

Additionally, your attachment style—formed during childhood—affects whether your relationships are stable, anxious, or avoidant.

How to Know When You Meet Someone Special

When you meet someone truly special, there's very few feelings like it. These are some of the things you're sure to experience, but when it comes to meeting someone special you also need to know about how to find that special someone. For this we've got you covered with Intentional Dating | How To Find Your Perfect Match.

• ‍Strong Connection: A sense of familiarity, comfort, and emotional resonance.
• ‍Mutual Understanding: Feeling deeply understood, even without words.
• ‍Authenticity: The freedom to be yourself without pretense.
• ‍Shared Values and Interests: A foundation for compatibility and mutual respect.
• ‍Deep Conversations: Meaningful discussions that challenge and enrich your perspective.
• ‍Positive Impact: Emotional growth and motivation to be your best self.
• ‍Intrigue and Curiosity: A genuine desire to know them beyond surface-level attraction.
• ‍Sense of Comfort: Feeling emotionally and physically safe around them.
• ‍Mutual Care and Respect: Reciprocal effort in nurturing the relationship.

Holding Onto Someone Special

If you've been lucky enough, or dated with intention, and met someone special, you need to strengthen your bond. These are some common ways you keep things going and make this thing deeper and more meaningful. Check back at dympll.com soon to find some new articles on how to be the best boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse or partner you can be.

1. Show Genuine Interest: Ask open-ended questions about their experiences, goals, and values.
2. Be Present: Give them your undivided attention and listen actively.
3. Respect Their Boundaries: Honor their emotional, physical, and time boundaries.
4. Communicate Openly: Share thoughts, feelings, and concerns honestly.
5. Offer Support: Be there during challenging times with empathy and encouragement.
6. Express Appreciation: Regularly acknowledge their importance in your life.
7. Invest Time: Strong relationships require patience and consistent effort.
8. Maintain Your Own Identity: Keep personal hobbies, friendships, and aspirations.
9. Keep the Spark Alive: Try new activities together to maintain excitement.
10. Allow Space: Time apart is healthy for personal growth and perspective.

A balanced relationship requires mutual effort. If you're putting in all the work without reciprocation, reassess whether the relationship is truly fulfilling.

Finding Someone Special When You’re Single

If you haven’t met someone special yet, remember that connections often happen unexpectedly. However, you can increase your chances by following these basics, but we go into much more detail on how to find a girlfriend or boyfriend in these helpful articles: 6 Steps to Get a Boyfriend | Say Bye to Being Single and 12 Steps on How to Get a Girlfriend | Mastering the Skills to Find Love

1. Exploring New Interests: Join clubs, take up hobbies, or travel to meet like-minded people.
2. Socializing More: Attend events, volunteer, or expand your social circle.
3. Focusing on Self-Improvement: Confidence and growth make you more attractive.
4. Being Open to New Experiences: Try new activities outside your comfort zone.
5. Using Online Platforms: Dating apps and social media can widen your reach.
6. Networking: Friends of friends can introduce you to potential partners.
7. Practicing Patience: The right person will come when the time is right.
8. Being Yourself: Authenticity is key to attracting genuine connections.
9. Communicating Effectively: Be clear about your needs, desires, and values.

Remember that a special person possesses qualities and traits that resonate with you personally. When their emotional intelligence, physical and personality needs, and life goals match with yours, you've found a keeper.

Final Thoughts and Key Takeaways

• Love is mutual, enduring, and based on reality.
• Infatuation is one-sided, short-lived, and fueled by fantasy.
• Biology plays a role—dopamine fuels infatuation, oxytocin strengthens love.
• Finding someone special starts with being open, social, and true to yourself.
• A fulfilling relationship is a two-way street requiring mutual respect, communication, and effort.

While we've covered essential aspects of love, infatuation, and relationships, remember:

• Self-love is key—being happy alone makes relationships healthier.
• Mutual growth matters—the best relationships encourage personal development.
• Respect and compromise are essential—no relationship thrives without them.
• Serendipity plays a role—you may meet someone special when you least expect it.

Trust your gut, be patient, and enjoy the journey. Love happens when you’re truly ready for it.

‍