My Ex Swiped Right On Me - What Now?

If you've been using online dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge, it's inevitable that you'll likely come across someone you know on the app as well. It may be just a friend or even an acquaintance from work. Online dating is, after-all, one of the primary ways people start dating these days! Logically, if you see them then they are also seeing you.

Now, what if the next profile that comes across your screen happens to be your most recent ex boyfriend, girlfriend, or even spouse?

What do you do? What will they do when they see you???

What would be a reason an ex boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse would swipe right on your dating profile after the two of you have already broken up?

Here are some potential reasons why your ex might swipe right on your dating profile:

1. Curiosity: They may be interested in seeing what kind of response they might get...? Swiping right could be a way of testing the waters to see if you're also still interested in them. Beware of some noncommittal interaction if this is the case!

2. Friendship: They might not be looking for a romantic relationship but may want to be friends or at least maintain some kind of relationship, and this is a way to reconnect if the opportunity presents itself (even if initially confusing).

3. Residual Feelings: They might still have feelings for you and are hoping to rekindle the relationship. Swiping right can be a subtle way of showing that they're still interested. This is a good sign if you feel the same way, but can also be a little tricky because, well, you're both on a dating app.

4. Closure: They may feel like there are unresolved issues from the relationship that they want to address. Swiping right could be their way of attempting to get closure. If you feel like this is the direction it's going, watch out for possible breakup flashbacks.

5. Accidental Swipe: Sometimes swipes on dating apps can be accidental, especially if the user is swiping quickly without paying close attention. If you fall victim to the "oops swipe", have a quick laugh about it and brush it off.

6. Habit: If your relationship was a long one, they might have gotten used to seeing you and interacting with you regularly. The action of swiping right could be more of a habit than a conscious choice. This could also be a sign of respect and acknowledgment if you guys ended things on good terms.

7. Confusion: They may be conflictual dealing with their feelings post-breakup and not know what they want. This is similar to the residual feelings, but the lack of certainty is the biggest difference and potential problem.

8. Revenge or Manipulation: This is less common and not very healthy, but in some cases, an ex might swipe right to give you false hope or to make you jealous. If the relationship ended very poorly or you where the one that ended things, this is a very real possibility. But, you'd already most likely know it.

‍9. Comfort and Familiarity: Because you've been in a relationship with this person before, there's a level of comfort and familiarity that doesn't exist with someone new. You know each other's habits, likes, dislikes, and you might even understand their communication style better. Again, similar to a couple other reasons, but the difference here is if the experiences with dating after you aren't panning out so well or are less than enjoyable. Not the greatest reason to get back with someone, we're just saying.

10. Changed Expectations: When you were together, there were certain expectations tied to your status as a couple. Now that you're not officially together, those expectations might be gone, or at least different. This is an interesting one because it could be an almost complete reset and a second chance could be in order if you're both into it!

11. Personal Growth: Depending on the length of time that has passed since your breakup, both of you might have changed significantly. Experiences you've had, lessons you've learned, or personal growth might alter the way you interact with each other. Again, kind of like changed expectations, but with a slight twist!

12. Less Pressure: Without the formal title of being a couple, there might be less pressure on both sides. This could lead to more open and authentic communication. All depends on what the reasons were for things ending, but if it was because of a formal or official couple status, maybe you guys can start with just having fun together again...?

What Should You Do?

Do you swipe right as well? Or, maybe you did already.

It's important to consider why the relationship ended in the first place. If the issues that led to your breakup are still present and unaddressed, it's possible that you could find yourselves facing the same problems again. And that's not good.

If you do choose to re-engage with your ex, then clear communication about your expectations and boundaries is key.

The dynamic could definitely be different between you two now on a dating platform since you're broken up.

You're no longer in a formal relationship, which changes those expectations and boundaries that existed before.

But beware, you need to be willing to accept that you aren't the only one now. You're profile is likely one of many that he or she swiped right on.

Only you know if you could handle things starting back up, even casually, and then abruptly having it end if they make a connection that they're more interested in than you.

Know that this is probably more likely than not unless you both really want to give the two of you a second chance.

‍Also Read: Self Care After a Breakup -  Top 15 Tips For a Breakup Recovery

Friends - With Benefits?

In the short-term though, there is a possibility this could be an opportunity for something casual if you're both on board with it.

Afterall, we know how hard dating can be and all it takes is a few bad dates or creepers to make you start to miss some of the old times. Swiping right could be a way to signal playful, non-comital interest in something fun for now.

There's a possibility that swiping right could be an invitation for a "friends with benefits" arrangement or a casual hookup. Some people might feel more comfortable engaging in these types of relationships with someone they already know well, like an ex-partner.

Conclusion

It's super important to have clear communication in such scenarios though. You both need to be on the same page about what the arrangement entails, the boundaries that need to be respected, and any potential emotional implications. Misunderstandings can lead to hurt feelings or a damaging of the relationship even further.

Remember, just because there might be a sense of familiarity or comfort with your ex, it doesn't necessarily mean that a casual arrangement will be free from complications or emotional entanglement. Consider carefully if you're genuinely okay with the situation and capable of handling any emotional consequences that might follow. If you feel uncertain, it may be best to discuss your feelings and intentions openly or to seek advice from someone you trust. The last thing you want is to open up those old breakup wounds!

Related Articles:

Tinder After A Breakup? | 13 Reasons Why Guys Start Looking Online

How To Get Over Your Someone | Make Winning Moves After a Breakup

6 Types of Breakups That Get Back Together - The Ultimate Guide

1000% Improvement After a Breakup | Celebrity Successes

The 7 Stages of a Breakup | And How To Recover Quickly

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